


The Rise and Fall of Teahouse and the Kingdom of Ivore

by orphan_account



Category: The Teahouse
Genre: Multi, Scones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-01 01:15:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2754119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nations rise and fall, tea drinking goes in and out of fashion. With or without us, history marches on...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rise and Fall of Teahouse and the Kingdom of Ivore

"DEATH TO THE TYRANICAL PIGDOG!" screamed Sasha as he leapt from the bushes, dagger in one hand, ferret in the other. It was the ferret that took out Rhys. Its dinner that day would be royal eyeballs, it's desert the blood of the oppressor.

But Sahsa stumbled under the bulk of his enormous coat and tripped, bumbling into Rhys. They both hit the ground with a shattering crunch before Sasha exploded into bits of fluff. He had in fact been the coat the entire time.

Rhys did not move. His skull had shattered under the coat's heavy poof. He would be found moments later by his assistant Argent, as would Rhys, but it was too late.

Rhys had come that day to buy Axis's contract from Atros but instead both men had only bought one item: DEATH.

The King being murdered in the courtyard of a brothel made international gossip rags despite Gloria's attempts to hush it up and the court was in chaos. Was this what their tax dollars bought? Grumpy prostitutes?! 

The funeral brought riots. The riots flamed revolution. 

"Whatever will we do?" exclaimed Evelyn as she and Glory tried to barricade the doors to the last safe room in the invaded palace.

Gloria took a broadsword out of her bountiful hair. "I will not go down without a fight. If I must die I will take as many of these rebels with me as I can."

Evelyn swooned.

"I will save you!" declared Claret as she climbed her way in through the window. "I have been in hiding all this time but now I know what I have to do. I can't run from my true heritage anymore!" In a tornado of sparkles and light Claret transformed from her mundane human form into her real self: a magical flying dinosaur. "Quickly, grab hold of my scales!" she said. 

Gloria scooped up Evelyn and Claret carried them away to The Lost World. And having no further concern, Gloria and her companions sought adventure in the land of dinosaurs. Many wars and feuds did Gloria fight. Honor and fear were heaped upon her name and, in time, she became a queen by her own hand. 

Meanwhile back in Ivore the revolution turned sour as more and more supposed conspirators to the destroyed monarchy were tried in sham courts then executed. The list of those killed was long and tragic. Axis was doomed by his connections with the former king, as was Reed. Then Rory was for the sole crime of consorting with Reed. Then Remy was for consorting with Rory. They were sad times.

Zephyr also lost his life to the whims of the masses but many say he was already dead from a broken heart. His tale inspired at least one romantic poem which centuries later became a major motion picture. It flopped at the box office but earned a quiet cult following that liked to watch it every year on the date of his death while quietly sobbing to themselves. In many ways he thus achieved more than most men could ever dream of.

Linneus 'fell' off a bridge.

Lilith was last seen leaving said bridge.

As the fires of revolution and terror waned the citizens that had survived tried to piece what remained of their lives together. Still this violent time would haunt them into future generations, never truly leaving Ivore behind.

After years of hiding in a neighbouring county Yvette returned to the burned out husk that remained of the Teahouse. It was raining that day and as she gripped her adorable bunny umbrella tighter she vowed to rebuild it, larger, and better than it ever had before. Her father had been killed in their escape, as had so many of her friends. She would not lose anything more to this land, but nay she would take from it.

It took her and her daughter years to complete but eventually the Teahouse was reborn like a horny phoenix from the ashes. It would be a beacon of hope, of love, of tea. Filled to the brim with teddy bears it would become the go to spot for tea and cute little baked goods in the entire region. Yvette had sort of forgotten the whole whorehouse aspect in favour of scones. 

But DAMN they were some great scones. Made with a secret ingredient imported from The Lost World they were said to be addictive. They were, the secret ingredient was coca. However that is a tale for another time...


End file.
